


You disappeared without a trace

by panto



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Episode: s02e01 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Feelings, Hurt, M/M, alternative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 06:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12575752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panto/pseuds/panto
Summary: Ianto stared at the man standing in front of his door, not able to say a word. He just stood there, staring while Jack offered him a soft, nearly innocent smile. A smile that was supposed to say sorry. Sorry for disappearing. Sorry for not telling you I was leaving. Sorry for staying away for more than three month. Sorry for not calling. Sorry for being back as if nothing ever happened. Sorry I hurt you. Sorry.An alternative to what happened when Jack came back from his journey with the doctor.





	You disappeared without a trace

Ianto stared at the man standing in front of his door at three in the morning, not able to say a word. He just stood there, not moving, not saying anything, just staring while Jack offered him a soft, nearly innocent smile. A smile that was supposed to say sorry. Sorry for disappearing. Sorry for not telling you I was leaving. Sorry for staying away for more than three month. Sorry for not calling. Sorry for being back as if nothing ever happened. Sorry I hurt you. Sorry.

Ianto just stared. No emotion showing on his face. He couldn’t return the smile. He was too confused, too angry, and still too hurt. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, Jack’s disappearing had triggered a lot of feelings in Ianto. So far he had managed to play it cool in front of the team, but now that Jack was standing in front of him again, he felt like he was about to break down. It cost him a lot of effort not to give away any of those feelings.

“Your clothes are covered in blood.”

 It wasn’t a question but Jack felt the need to explain anyway. “Yeah, I kind of got into some trouble earlier. Had a fight”, he ran a hand through his hair barely even able to look Ianto in the eyes. There was a soft insecure chuckle before he continued, “I was at this bar, had a few drinks and there was this group of guys, pretty drunk already and well…” Ianto’s facial expression didn’t change in the slightest, so Jack sighed trying to find the right words to explain the real reason he was here, “Ianto, listen, I only just arrived back in Cardiff a few hours ago and I am not here to talk about that fight. I wanted to see you and I really think – “

Ianto cut him off, “Jack, I don’t want to hear that! Not here and not now.”

“But I – “

Again, Ianto stopped him, “No! You listen to me now! It’s been nearly four month. Four month, Jack! We knew nothing! Not where you disappeared to, not if you were alright or if you maybe needed our help. We didn’t even know if you were ever going to come back! You could have at least called or left a note or something, but you didn’t and right now I absolutely don’t want to hear about any of that.”

“Please, at least let me explain it to you!”

“You can explain it to me. But not here and not now. You will have to explain it to all of us”, Ianto slightly shook his head, “I really don’t know what you expected me to say when you decided to come to my house at three in the morning after not being there for over three month.”

“I’m sorry, Ianto. I really am.”

Ianto just sighed, shaking his head again. It had hurt when Jack left and it hurt throughout the time he was gone. It still did and Ianto was angry. Angry at Jack for disappearing like that but also angry at himself that Jack was able to make Ianto feel such things. After all that definitely wasn’t the plan in the first place.

And even though he was a tiny bit relieved to see Jack healthy and alive again, it made him even angrier and more confused that Jack just showed up at his doorstep in the middle of the night after the team hadn’t heard from him in months expecting to just talk to Ianto like nothing had happened.

“But I’ll still see you tomorrow morning at the Hub, right?” There was something in his eyes and Ianto wasn’t sure whether it was sadness or not. But what was he expecting?

“I don’t know yet”, Ianto admitted. He didn’t feel like going to work in the morning and facing Jack again after all that, keeping his emotions together in front of the others. If he had a choice he’d rather stayed in bed trying not to think of Torchwood or Jack.

“I understand”, Jack slowly nodded, “And I also understand that you need time, Ianto. But as soon as you are ready, please give me the chance to make it up to you, to explain myself, okay?”

“Goodnight, Jack.” Ianto didn’t want to hear any more. He couldn’t promise anything. And even though there was a small part in him that just wanted to hug Jack, kiss him, and tell him how glad he was that he was back and alive, his anger outweighed all the other feelings.

Jack sighed quietly, “Goodnight, Ianto.” And as soon as Jack had finished wishing Ianto a good night as well, Ianto had closed the door again.

For a moment Jack just stood there in front of the closed door staring at it as if he was waiting for Ianto to open it for him again, before he slowly turned away and walked back into the cold, dark night wishing things would have turned out differently.

 

 

Ianto had to force himself to get out of bed the next morning. It felt like he hadn’t slept at all when his alarm clock finally rang. Jack was on his mind the entire night and Ianto had thought about all the things he could have said the night before, all the things he wanted to say to Jack and as well about the things he wasn’t going to tell him.

Luckily Ianto arrived at the Hub at the same time as Toshiko. That way he wasn’t forced to spend any time alone with Jack. In case he was even in the Hub. Who knew where he had disappeared to this time.

“You look tired”, she noticed when they both walked through the door of the tourist office.

“Didn’t sleep that much last night”, he simply said, pulling the door shut behind them, “Hey, I guess I need to tell you something before we get downstairs.”

Tosh watched him for a moment and Ianto was sure the look in her eyes revealed worry, “What is it, Ianto?”

He didn’t want to beat about the bush so he decided to get straight to the point, “Jack is back.”

“What? Since when? How do you know? Did you talk to him already? Where was he? Is he…”

Ianto interrupted her quickly before she could ask any more questions that Ianto didn’t have an answer to, “He showed up at my door last night, wanted to talk I guess but I sent him away so I don’t know any more than you do. Just that he is back.”

“Oh”, was all she said before she followed Ianto through the hidden door that led into the Hub.

When the two of them walked into the main part of the Hub, they found Jack standing behind one of the computers glancing up at them with a soft smile.

Without another thought, Tosh dropped her bag and ran over to their boss pulling him into a tight hug, “You really are back!”

 

Ianto nevertheless just turned to walk over to the coffee maker, ignoring Jack’s presence, to start making the first coffee of the morning.

He had decided not to treat Jack any different than he did before Jack’s disappearance, just without all the time they used to spend in private. At least for now.

“Where have you been?”, Tosh let go of Jack and looked at him, a mixture of ease and uncertainty in her eyes.

Ianto heard Jack sigh, “That is a long story. Maybe we should talk about it when the team is complete.”

Tosh just nodded silently and walked over to her desk to start working, while Jack disappeared into his office.

When the coffee was ready Ianto walked over to Tosh handing her a cup with a soft smile, before he walked up to Jack’s office door. He knocked on the door before he stepped into the office. Without a word he placed a cup on Jack’s desk.

“Thanks, Ianto. I really missed your coffee! Best one in the entire universe.”

“I’m very honoured, sir”, Ianto said without any emotion, ready to leave Jack’s office again.

Jack just sighed, “Can we maybe drop the sir now?”

Ianto turned back around to him, but couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I’m really glad you came to work today”, Jack tried.

“Of course. Unlike some other people, I don’t just leave the team alone without a word.”

“Please, Ianto, give me a chance. I’m really sorry I just disappeared! But I had some time to think. About you. About us.”

“About us?” Ianto huffed staring at him and raising his eyebrows, not sure if he was believing Jack or not.

“Yes, about us.” He sighed when Ianto stayed quiet, “I was thinking maybe we could have dinner sometime or a movie?”

Ianto stayed quiet, obviously taken aback by Jack’s question and searching for the right words. “Are you asking me out? On a date?”

Jack nodded slowly, “Are you interested?”

Something in Ianto turned around, he didn’t know what to think or to say anymore. There was a part of him that wanted to say yes so badly, wanted to forget Jack had ever disappeared. But then again he was still hurt and if he just said yes now, he was only going to regret it later, “I’ll think about it.”

Ianto turned around and this time he actually left Jack’s office followed by his boss when they heard the cog door and Gwen and Owen walked into the Hub.

Ianto watched how both of them stopped for a moment when they spotted Jack and for that short moment it was completely silent in the Hub

Gwen, just like Tosh, ran over to him, hugging him and kissing his cheek but when a moment had passed she let go of him, nearly pushed him away, “Where have you been, Jack? Why did you leave us alone?”

Her facial expression went from happy so see Jack, to angry about everything that had happened.

“I’m sorry I left”, Jack said once again but now to all of them.

“Where have you been?”, Owen repeated the question all of them had asked already.

Jack hesitated for a moment, but there was a slight smile on his face, “I found my doctor.”

“Did he fix you?”, Owen looked at him still a bit hesitant.

“What’s to fix? You don’t mess with this level of perfection.” Jack chuckled softly.

Owen eyed him for a moment, “Are you going to stay now or are you going back to him?”

Jack shook his head slightly. “I came back for you”, he glanced at Ianto for a moment, wanting so badly for him to believe that Jack meant it, wanting Ianto to give him another chance, before he looked at the other team members, “All of you.”


End file.
